Forget your PIN? It’s Merc’ the Jerk at work.

Suffice to say I know little or nothing about astrology—barely enough to be dangerous. And I don’t think I’ll ever get how the behavior of celestial objects a bazillion miles away has anything to do with why I keep misplacing my car keys but damn if this whole Mercury in retrograde thing doesn’t seem to be the real deal.

Since the middle of November when apparently Mercury started moving backwards through the zodiac (huh?..wouldn’t that totally mess stuff up? I’ve learned it’s all more or less an optical illusion) things have just been, for lack of a better term, out of whack. And since this happens three times a year and lasts for a couple of months each time, I rate this the biggest deal happening in the universe, hands down, on any given day, anywhere. It’s not like mountains crumble into the sea or Bush reads a book or anything that cataclysmic but damn, it’s gotta be the most annoying cosmic phenomenon out there. It’s a “death by a thousand cuts” thing, subtle, devious, a forgotten appointment here, a lost checkbook there. You break your favorite prescription sunglasses one day, then you lose your internet connection while uploading a client’s web site files. Example: For some reason my office phone will not connect on the first ring of the day. The second time someone calls, it works. Merc’ the Jerk at work.

My two lovely daughters are quite literate in this area, as is their mom who could write a book and does readings for people and has done mine more than a few times. As appreciative as I am I honestly retain very little of what comes out of these sessions although I’m always on alert when one of them says, “Well, you know Mercury is in retrograde right now” to which I’ll inevitably reply “Ah ha, I knew it!” having just tried to replace my watch battery and broken the glass bezel or randomly purged my ATM PIN number from my brain while at the checkout stand.

If nothing else about astrology is true, even someday proven to be just a bunch of pseudo-scientific hokum I’ll have to raise my hand in defense of Mercury being a deal breaker. Clearly, it’s the most bad-ass, malevolent orb in the solar system, hands down. This retro spell we’re in now supposedly lasts until December 21 so hang in there but don’t be surprised if your xmas tree drops it’s needles on xmas eve and the egg nog turns bad a week before the expiration date.

I offer this little illustration in tribute. FYI…I built it around an illustration in a “How to Become a Police Artist” ad I found in a 1963 Popular Science magazine.

And here’s where you can get some more information. Hope the link works.

Click on the image to enlarge.

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